Notes from a Wedding

The wedding was a lot of fun, but even though I tried to pull back and take it in several times, a lot of details are already becoming vague.

Kent and Bruce set up the pergola early in the day. It was a gorgeous day in SF, sunny and temperatures in the 70s. Very uncommon for March.

It was busy for me earlier in the day - I had my hair done, which took less than half an hour, but required half a can of hairspray and about 20 pins. My hair did not move, even when it was breezy. When I got home from the salon, I went down the hill for a manicure, hoping it would take less than an hour. They were able to take me right away, a little guy did my nails and I was out in 45 minutes. I went home, made myself eat something, and Kent and I and my family took 2 cars out to Fort Mason.

When we got there, our friend Kirk was in a tizzy getting flowers together, and the flower assembly got busier when we showed up with more assistants. I brought 3 aprons for flower people to use, but I don't know if they were ever put on. At least, I haven't seen any pictures yet of someone in a plasticized zebra apron working the flowers! We also brought paper flowers made from kits (special thanks to Aly, Heather, Mike and Lori for helping put those together!), and the fresh flowers Kirk put together were gorgeous. Yay!

Lani helped me with makeup and getting dressed. I haven't worn that much makeup since, well, over 10 years at least (maybe my 10 year reunion?). We're talking the full shebang. Foundation. Powder. Blush. Three colors of lipstick/gloss. Eyeshadow. Mascara. Liner. The only thing missing was fake eyelashes. We got me into the dress and jewelry and out for pictures. We did pictures before the ceremony to save time, and also because the light was amazing. Yes, we got at least one wedding picture with Alcatraz in the background. We're all about subtext.

When we were finishing pictures, our guests were starting to arrive, so I had to be sequestered in the side room. The Funston room was the HQ for martial law in the aftermath of the 1906 earthquake - strangely appropriate for a wedding! I was most nervous when I was left by myself in the side room. I could hear the guests milling around outside, but I had nothing to do but think about going out there and having everyone look at me. I considered opening the wine, but didn't want to accidentally overmedicate before the vows. I wish now that I'd asked for crab cakes, they were only passed before the ceremony, and I heard they were great! We got the bottle of Moet back there for after the vows. I also had some nice snacks but kept worrying about the pictures - so my waiting time went snack, check teeth, snack, check teeth, pace, pace, pace. Lani and Kent came in to keep me company while I was waiting.

They came to get us a little before 7. Since mom and dad couldn't be there, we livestreamed the ceremony and some of the party so they could watch from home in real time. We also set it up so our families were out there first, and Kent and I walked out together.

The whole ceremony took less than 8 minutes. :) It seemed longer while we were doing it. An early surprise was Lynn pulling out the "Mawwaige" jokes, which we had joked about but didn't expect! I have the script if anyone is interested, but the basic frame was defining marriage, declaring our intent to get married, getting the guests to state that they would support us in the marriage, our vows, and the exchange of rings. Lynn had a special phrase she had to use as a Deputy Commissioner of Marriage. While we were doing vows, I went first - and while I was talking (probably too fast), Kent started tearing up. I remember thinking, "Oh no! Don't cry, or I'll cry!" Maybe the alarm will show on my face in the video? Fortunately we managed to get through the vows without either of us choking up.

After the ceremony we went back to the Funston room, popped our champagne, and called mom and dad to see if the feed had worked. We asked "Did you see us? Did you see us?" "Yeah!" "Did you wave back at the computer?" "Yeah, we did!" Woo! Dad also said there was a short discussion about the tripod being a piece of crap, guess the video guy forgot they were live. Funny, though, and I'm sure any guests of ours saw the humor in it.

After a few minutes to ourselves, we were ushered in for dinner. I'd been warned to make sure to eat, so I got some food, but I was so keyed up I just couldn't eat much. We chatted with people at our table (including Bill, Rich, Bobbi, Heather, Mike, Aly, and Tish and Jeff). We had a problem during dinner with the food coming out a little slowly which was making some tables cranky, but everyone said the food was great once it was out.

A few people did toasts, and thankfully, a lot of people did NOT stand up and say how they really knew us! One of the really funny ones was the traditional DeBoer family toast at weddings, "out of all the girls Kent's been with we like her the best!" I think all of our sisters got up to say something, including Tish (I couldn't believe she got up to speak in front of 100 strangers), and we had family friends and work friends say things, too.

We did do a cake cutting - we were probably not very visible, since we were in front of the cake table (not behind), but had some nice cake. We were yelled at for taking the bites out of the top tier, but that whole cake was meant to be eaten, so I'm not worried about it. Aside from those two bites and one cupcake each late in the party, we didn't have cake, either, but loved what we had and heard the cakes were a big hit.

We spared people a first dance. Neither of us can dance and there's no point making people watch that. Right after cake cutting, we started the dance music and told the guests to go to it.

The party itself is bit of a blur; there were lots of people I wanted to talk to, and didn't feel like I got even close to spending the time I wanted to with them. A couple of friends got teary, and I was teased about my childhood nickname, and I tried to circulate to everyone (social butterfly fail). I can't wait to see the still pictures from the station where Mark and Branca set up!

My dress was a big hit. YES! I love the dress and need to think of somewhere else I could wear it. I think the girl look on me scared the work people a bit.

By the end of the party, we helped to clear everything out (leave no trace!), packing everything up, and Kent was out on the lawn in the dark with a bunch of helpers to take the pergola down. The pergola will probably make a reappearance in our back yard when we get started on working back there. After everything was packed up and everyone was gone, we walked to our hotel and crashed hard.

Overall I had a lot of fun and am grateful to everyone that made it so special! THANK YOU!